Lost in a moment
I revel in wonder
How beats go amiss
To the flitting caresses
Of billowing tresses
And nectarine essence
In saccharine kisses
Entrenched in the splendor
Of lingering romance
As once in a while
I drop my disguise
To show you the smile
You became in my eyes…
bmiller007 (@bmiller007) wrote @
this is beautiful man…really tight weave to it…some nice near rhyme…and that ending is dang near perfection…well done..
brian miller
http://www.waystationone.com
Emily wrote @
I can’t believe how much is contained in these short lines! So much expressed, so simply.
claudia wrote @
I drop my disguise
To show you the smile
You became in my eyes…nice.. good to get real..
rmp wrote @
you make it very easy to get lost in the moment. (especially with “nectarine essence / In saccharine kisses”)
the ending definitely hit home nicely.
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Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. -Shakespeare
poetry and observations from a manic depressive sufferer
I love what you did here with the short lines and the rhymes that pull the reader along at a faster than expected speed. I read it aloud to myself without taking one breath until the very end.
Glad you liked